the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize