They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
