well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
