shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
