i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
