she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
