He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
