im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize