It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
