Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
