hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize