I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
