im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize