yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
