Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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