Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
