I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
