he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
