The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
