I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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