I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
