In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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