I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
