and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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