he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have aggressive nipples.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize