She's JV to your varsity
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
