Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
