If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
