the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
