i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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