hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I faked an abortion last night.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Operation Purity has been aborted
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
