State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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