i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
