I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
