you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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