you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My balls are so social today.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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