That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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