We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
