Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
