Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
