I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
