I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
