Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
