What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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