; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
