You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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