dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
