Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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