i permit you to call me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
