no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You have to summon your inner elephant
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
