Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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