I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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