I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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