I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
