Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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