not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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