No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
