that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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