Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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